Through the Fog


Everyone experiences emotional pain now and then, due to unexpected losses, unfulfilled dreams, or hurtful relationships in life. I hear about pain in the work I do and I feel it in the “blogosphere” as well, as I’m sure you do.

Sometimes the disclosure of pain is so deep, so excruciating, it makes me weep with patients and clients. Oftentimes the anguish from the pain is internalized, repressed, and never resolved properly.

But did you know that all kinds of pain can be turned around through writing to help other people; to help you?

Maybe that is why the pain is there in the first place.

Do you believe a man who has never felt rejection or isolation can understand the reality of a man who battles depression and loneliness?

Do you believe a woman who has been happily married for 25 years can truly comprehend the trauma of a woman who is going through an unwelcomed divorce after 25 years of marriage?

Do you believe a man who has never suffered from the struggle of addiction can fully relate to a man trapped in addiction’s depths of despair?

Do you believe a woman who has yet to lose a loved one can sincerely empathize with a woman who just lost her mother?

Do you believe a man who has worked at the same place of employment for 30 years can offer real strength and support to a man who just lost his job for the third time?

Do you believe a woman who has never faced the agony of a seriously ill child can truly lend her shoulder for a devastated mother to cry on?

Do you believe a man who has never questioned his own sexuality or gender can honestly understand a gay man or transgender person’s process of accepting themselves?

Do you believe a woman who has never battled with an eating disorder or weight issue can provide trusted support to a woman who desperately desires to lose weight and improve her health?

The list goes on.

I wonder if we can look at pain as something that doesn’t belong to us alone, but as something that is multi-faceted. Could our pain actually give strength to other people? Could it give them support? Could it give them comfort?

Could it give them hope?

There are many people undergoing exactly the same struggles. The pain we feel today could end up being our platform tomorrow.

What an amazing thought that is.


Thank you for reading,


copyright © Kelly Huntson and 2015-2018. All rights reserved.

108 thoughts on “Through the Fog

  1. That is a wonderful and very thought-provoking post, Kelly!I don’t know the original quote. But there is said that the most compassionate people experienced the hardest situations in life… and conquered them. That is how I started to see whatever situation comes to me. It is another opportunity to make my personal development a benefit for others. I am sure once it can be seen that way we can deal differently with struggles in life. We always learn for everyone not only for ourselves!

    • Very true, Erika. The quote that comes to my mind based on your thoughts is by Friedrich Nietzsche, “That which does not kill us makes us stronger.”
      So much truth there! I use that quote quite often.
      Thank you for bringing it to my mind! xo

  2. Your message is so true. It is easier to empathize and show compassion when we experience (on a certain level) difficulties in our own lives.
    So well said.

    • Thanks, doc. I agree. And I also think any show of help is meaningful and usually appreciated as long as it comes from the heart.
      Good to see you – hope all is well. 🙂

  3. Our own pain helps us to connect to others. In doing so we nurture humanity and compassion in the world, as well as supporting individuals with our shared experience.
    Pain is an important part of our spiritual growth💛
    Great post Kelly. Thank you sharing again!

    • Hi Val! Thank you so much for such an eloquent, comforting comment. To think of pain as something that connects us and helps us to grow spiritually is so empowering and positive. You are always so inspiring.
      It was my pleasure to share this one again… I published it last year on June 8, a whole year ago yesterday… hard for me to believe!
      Hope all is well – thanks again 🙂

  4. Excellent post. Pain affects so many aspects of our lives and the people around us. It is also, what gives us strength. @sheilamgood at Cow Pasture Chronicles

  5. A very thought provoking post Kelly. Having gone through the trauma of divorce after a 26yr marriage (together for 31yrs) and during that time dealing with bereavement, with the loss of my dear mum & mother-in-law within 12 months of each other, I feel I have taken the time only now, to identify with the pain of loss. . It creeps up on you when you least expect it and that is when you really know its there, it’s real, and only you can get through it. However it helps to talk about it, and I know, I for one, didn’t talk about it, I guess I just carried on with life and all that it entailed to get through a really painful experience. I do identify more with others who are suffering the pain of loss and unhappiness, and it helps to have had that experience to help others.
    Having had to deal with my dad’s recent illness, I have found comfort in writing about it in my blog, and this has helped me to deal with the upset and worry. I guess when I look deep into myself, I have been hurt by so many things in the last 10yrs, but never taken the time to really assess how it has affected me as a person, or how I’ve coped with the pain that was obviously sitting beneath my smile. Sometimes you just smile and carry on, taking each day as it comes, that’s how I’ve coped. My happy thoughts get me through, and they are my children, my amazing granddaughters, my lovely dad, my partner, and a supportive network of friends, all who are going through their own experiences either good or bad, and it helps to know they are all there.
    Chris xx

    • Hi Chris! I appreciate your time in reading and commenting here. I remember reading about your dad’s illness and I’m happy to know that writing provides a measure of comfort for you. The same holds true for me.
      I’m also happy to know you have support through your family and friends, as well as what sounds like an optimistic attitude.
      As you know, when we experience major life stressors it is very important to talk about them in order to recover and heal… and sometimes we feel like we’re doing okay, but at other times… not so much.
      So if you ever feel like you still need to work through painful issues, I personally recommend joining a peer support group which can be very helpful. Even though you have wonderful sources of support in your life, relating to people who have actually “been there” is sometimes what is needed the most. I’ve been in two groups in my own life and they really made a difference. 🙂
      I wish all the best to you. xoxo

  6. I believe in the power of the wounded healer!

  7. Reblogged this on Art by Rob Goldstein and commented:

    I believe in the power of the wounded healer!

  8. Wow, just stumbled across your work and this is pretty awesome. Pain really is a subjective experience, however it unites us and allows us to become stronger. the key thing to remember is you need to acknowledge the pain in order to deal with it.


    A x

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