Dreams

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***

I know the streets are dirty. I know there is rejection.

“These are the moments, this is the day.”

But your other self says no.

It summed up your commitment and it’s not holding you to it.

So you apologize to yourself.

And when you finally got around to looking directly at them, they disappeared.

Your dreams blew into the sewer – lost, maybe forever.

But you know they still exist.

Somewhere.

Somewhere between the distractions, impulses, procrastination, and doubt.

Let’s see if we can find them.

***

Step off the curb, get in, and move over.

Quit sucking on the web.

Put on the flak jacket

And drive the armored car.

Push it. Feel it. Face it.

Make your dreams chase YOU.

Get strong.

Get real.

Yes, it’s going to get real.

They will never stop growling in your ear.

They will never stop gnawing at your neck.

They will always bite the secret place inside you.

That’s where they are.

Or are they?

***

Crawl through here.

No.

Come on, crawl through with me.

No.

Follow me. Just keep moving.

No. It’s too hard.

Keep moving. Just keep going.

No. It’s too hard. And it smells really bad.

Follow me. Keep going. Keep pushing.

I can’t, I feel sick …

What’s that smell?

What is that?

WHAT IS THAT?

***

That is a pile of stagnating human waste.

Your waste.

The YOU, you have already wasted.

The YOU, you are now wasting.

Look at it.

Are your dreams in there?

Now take them and let’s get out of here.

***

 

Related: I’ve Got You

91 thoughts on “Dreams

  1. Reblogged this on Grand Dreams.

    • Thank you! I am honored 🙂

      • Nice poetry. Surprisingly difficult to find good work on dreams and dreaming.

      • Thank you, appreciate your kindness. 🙂

      • Nurses are special people. Hang in there. Counting all those pills in those little Pyxis drawers can become tedious. 🙂

      • Haha! Yes it can! I remember it well! Used to take me 5 hours or more just to pass morning meds!

      • 🙂 Well, since I am determined to maintain my anonymity, I will not say any more. Let’s just say, hmm, I can relate. (But, five hours? Wow!)

      • Can tell you relate. That was at the Cleveland Clinic’s main campus. Ten patients on days… nearly killed me 🙂

      • I was guessing long term care (with an even heavier load).

      • No, post-op neuro. Never worked in long term care because I wouldn’t be able to push that many meds! Seriously!

      • “Log rolling position” and all that?

      • Yes and neuro checks with every round. Very, very high acuity patients.

      • Well, that sounds pretty serious! Awesome! 🙂

      • Thank you. Loved the patients, working conditions were unbearable though. Going to PRN. Love what I do now, so I feel very fortunate.

      • Difficult to find nursing work with good working conditions. Funding has become minimal and staffing consequently ultra-lean to the point of dangerous. Timberlawn, here in DFW (Dallas Fort Worth) is reputed to be the oldest psyc hospital in continuous operations west of the Mississippi (river). It has been around forever, and had mostly a good reputation, but funding cuts left if with such lean staff that it became dangerous. It has been a big deal here locally. Losing it would be a major loss of beds (and would create serious safety issues for the community at large).

        See, also: http://thescoopblog.dallasnews.com/2015/08/dallas-imperiled-timberlawn-psych-hospital-tells-judge-it-will-close-if-feds-pull-funding-friday.html/

      • That’s painful to hear, especially a psych hospital. I am a strong advocate for more mental health resources, there are so many revolving doors. I question the notion of mental illness itself, actually, but that’s a long story. (I won’t get started on the DSM)
        Thanks for the link, I will check it out. Hang in there.

      • Not at Timberlawn (in any way) myself, just passing on the story to make a point. We have mentally ill shooters and think “gun control” will somehow help as we squeeze the life out of the few remaining (mental health) facilities that have survived the severe ongoing cuts since the 1990’s. (But, that’s everywhere, not just mental health. I am certain it is in your domain as well.)

      • I hear you. Can tell you feel passionately about this. And the jails are part of the revolving door problem. I work hard now to help people manage their health holistically. Truly, one cannot even think of other health goals without emotional health first. And that can take years to treat. It’s all so much more than a diagnosis. The diagnosis itself can be a problem.

      • The jails are a disaster; don’t get me started. Mixing in schiz with general population gets someone hurt, typically the schiz person who was doing nothing more dangerous than directing traffic in the nude at 2 AM. (Dangerous the the person with schiz but no one else. The police bring them in to “keep them safe” and then they are murdered by getting “shanked.” It stinks.)
        We are in agreement: must treat all aspects. That can be very difficult.

      • Yes, to say the least. But don’t ever let it overwhelm you. Do what you can do and know you are making a difference. I have to remind myself of that every day or I can get really depressed. Wish you all the very best, nice chatting with you 🙂

      • I will confess that I have become a personification of the “grumpy old man” archetype. That said, here is how I see myself “making a difference”: https://grandtrines.wordpress.com/and-when-i-die/

      • Left a comment on your blog:)

      • Read; approved; Thank You!

      • After a bit of thought, left a reply in the same place.

  2. Happy new Year Kelly! May your dreams be sweet! XX ❤

  3. and don’t delay for one second longer. it may be all the time you have.

  4. Love it! Like you said, my dreams can chase me for a change 🙂

  5. Your piece is more powerful than any NY resolution that I’ve come across. Way to go, Kelly. Happy New Year to you. ☺

  6. The older we get, the more aware we become of wasting that valuable time, and hopefully the more likely we’ll be to act on it.

    Happy New Year, Kelly!

  7. Happy New Year, Kelly! Love this poem. Time…the one thing money can’t buy. A reminder to seize and cherish every moment.

  8. Happy New Year Kelly! I see you’ve started it off with a good kick in the britches 🙂 Advice we’d all be smart to take too. Here’s to it then…living authentically in the moment and taking life by the horns!! YeeHaw 🙂

    • You don’t want me dragging you through some smelly tunnel, right? lol
      I hope you are well and I hope you are writing! xo

      • Um, heck no (on the smelly tunnel)!!! lol Nothing new on the blog, but working towards changing that…part of that living in the moment thing 🙂 I’m well thank you and 2016 is all about the positive…so well today, great tomorrow. That’s the goal xoxo

      • That’s great, would love to see more writing from you. I’m with you on that goal and I’m going to hold you to it if you do the same for me! I have this comment now as a reminder! xo

  9. This is a strong, challenging poem—it challenges us to meet our real self and discard the blocks that keep us from what we dream of and go on to make the dream ours. Thank you for this beautiful poetry that is yet so challenging!

    • Hi Pastor Jim! Happy New Year to you! I agree – it’s very challenging and time slips away so easily… especially time spent online, which can be a definite road block to goals if not used wisely. Wish you and yours all the best in the coming year 🙂

  10. whoa Kelly! Powerful and poignant. I can smell the waste! ❤
    Diana xo

  11. Powerful, Kelly, and a call to arms. Wonderful.

  12. This is a powerhouse of writing. Beautiful!

  13. Reblogged this on Art by Rob Goldstein and commented:

    A powerful piece of writing from Nurse Kelly…

  14. Gotta chase those dreams, who knows what lies round the next corner…
    Love the sentiment here, Kelly. You’ve conveyed it brilliantly 🙂

  15. Happy New Year, Kelly! I hope it’s the best year ever. I love the thought of dreams chasing me. Hey, now that’s more like it. A little reverse psychology! Here’s to making your dreams a reality. Hugs xoxo

    • Hi Amy! Happy New Year to you as well! Yes, make your dreams chase you, stay in front of them at all times! This piece was not written in a gentle way, but rather was written to illustrate the unease I feel when I’m NOT doing what I need to be doing!
      Wish you all the very best in 2016 as well. Sending hugs and endless inspiration! 🙂

      • I know that feeling of unease, Kelly. Here’s hoping we stay the course. Keep on making progress and keep going. With a new year, we have a fresh start. It feels like another chance. Thanks for all your inspiration. Sending you the best! xoxo

      • Thanks, Amy, appreciate the uplifting words. xo

  16. This was very intriguing and I thought the possibilities were endless but I envisioned invading space aliens in the sewers! Lol. So glad it is our needing to write and use our rampant and wild imagination, Kelly. Hope you have many joys and special plans in the new year come to fruition. ♡ xo

    • LOL Robin! That is so funny and kind of scary! Kind of like my wild imagination here spewing forth its contents… Wish you all the best in the coming year as well! xo

  17. Facing dreams (which speak mountains of reality) can be a daunting task. You put it out there for all of us to face. How we handle it and where we take these truths and dreams are up to each of us. A message more important than some may realize. Well done.

    • Thank you, doc! Was hoping to prod a few minds with this one, especially my own. Thank you for your thoughtful comments as always. Hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend. 🙂

  18. Very nice surprise. You got a little dark and dirty for a while. Very nice piece. Keep moving. Love the way you deliver your messages.

  19. Wow! What an energy, Kelly! Wooo!!!

  20. Great piece! Too many dreams are wasted.

  21. So primal in the organic wording and yet, we need to roll up our sleeves and dig in the muck, get busy changing ourselves and facing reality. Doing not avoiding effort, Kelly. Changing from inaction to living in action. 🙂

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